duhz. im angry. im frustrated. and im damn upset. i cried. i quarrelled with my mom just now. all because of my sis again. wth... she complained to my mom that i used com. late into the night and it's disturbing her. it isnt the first time that she complained to my mom. so previously, if i were to use internet at night i wld move to the living rm. and wth.. when im in the living rm, my mom wld wake up and ask me not to use it and go to bed. hur.. i cant use it in the bedroom( cos im sharing a rm with my sis! -.-and she wants to slp). i cant use it in the living room. then where else do they want me to use?! and no one can stop me from using the internet late into the night. if im not having morning lect the nxt day, why cant i slp late the night before? it's not as if im working the nxt morning.

so.. my mom told me.. cos my sis is working. i replied..." so..? that's her choice. she chose to work and study at the same time. it's tough for her. but too bad. she has to bear with it. "and my mom keeps asking me to work since im only studying 4days a wk. i told her i didnt want to cos i know that im that kind of person who cant study and work at the same time. duhz.. of cos she doesnt unds me. she thinks that my sis is the greatest. she can work and support herself while im still someone who needs my parents to feed on me. whatever... she can side her for all she wants... im useless.

ever since young, i wasnt the princess at home. i m the eldest. i have to do everything. taking care of siblings,hsework (that includes washing and hanging of clothes,mopping of floor, cooking, cleaning up of hse.. blah blah blah..) but guess what.. no one appreciates who i have done. not even a word of praise since young from my parents that i have done a gd job. not even when i got A for my paper. -.-"

i work and give tution 3yrs ago to earn my own pocket money and to pay for all those misc. fees in sch. i saved up for my own travelling. i know i dont grow up in a rich family. so i cant always keep asking money from my parents. i paid for everything for myself.

anyone grow up with canings and kneeling down for hours as punishments from parents? well.. im one of those. i still remembered i was so afraid of my parents that when i was in p1, i went to tell one of my closest teacher. and she wrote a letter to my mum. imagine i was still a pri sch kid, i had to go to sch with all the cane marks on my legs and hands. even up till sec1.... boo!!

so what if im the eldest.. no one listens to me anyway... when my sis started her first day at work, my mom got so anxious for her. she kept buying all those necessities -clothes and stuff for her to prepare for her first day of work. and even a gd breakfast early in the morning for her. what abt me? she did nth for me when i went for my first job after my A level. what a major difference ya...

dun try to console me.. and dont ask me to think from my mom's pt of view. i have been living under the same roof as my parents for the past 21 yrs.

i know there are times when my parents treat me really gd. and i am really greatful that they raised me up and provide me with an education. i really apprecaited that. and i know that in future i will be the one to support them after i grad.


boooo~~~~~~~~~ =(