SHE.HER.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

i love sg's very own Changi Airport.

Each time when im there, i have a very special feeling for it. i feel as if im flying off to somewhere. i love taking planes. i love the feeling of checking in. i love the feeling of getting my boarding pass and getting into the gate. i love the feeling of travelling ard with friends! i love looking at sg from a top view. i love looking at the fluffy clouds. =DD

the Airport is so spacious. a nice environment for me to study. (with the exception of meeting talkative ppl that arent there to study at all.) the aircon is strong. with lots of variety of food for u to choose. from T1 to T2. high end restaurants to fast food to staff canteens. local very own pandan cakes to my fav crispy pancakes. =DD

altho it's a super long journey from my hse to the ap. but once in a while going to the ap is really a nice experience. i mean to the ap not to chase stars but there to walk ard,shop and eat. and to study too.

my next stop will be the budget terminal. i have nv been there before. altho what i heard from frens that there arent many things there, but it wld be nice to take a look at it urself ya?

i wan fly to somewhere where i belong. not here but...elsewhere...

只要是待在家裡就會想想東想西。

想些有的沒的。這種感覺真的很糟。

只會讓自己跟不開心。

有人跟我說。。不開心時他會鬼叫哈哈哈哈什麼嘛!!

至少我看到那答案時﹐我笑了3秒鐘。=)

我其實是個很容易滿足的人。

小朋友喜歡什麼﹐我就喜歡什麼。

Thursday, March 29, 2007

我說個故事吧。。

她和他的故事

N年前。。傑和敏就認識了彼此。X年之間﹐彼此喜歡上了對方。

那種被肯定的感覺﹐讓敏的心跳超級加數的。每當一想起他﹐就讓敏渾身發熱。那種感覺很妙。 =)

傑對敏的那份感情永遠是掛在身邊和嘴邊。傑好不自私的把他的愛表現出來。

敏也感受到了。真的有被感動。但。。。她沒辦法回給他。有個說不出來的理由。那理由他其實也知道。

他的體貼。=DD

可是最終他和她的結局。。是悲的。

N年後的現在﹐今天﹐事實難于預料。很多事情也變了。事實是個你我都不能控制的。

那些只是短暫的回憶。甜在心裡。只能回味。

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

這幾天我的心情好爛。真的很爛。

除了要應付考試﹐正在猛K書

還有好多事情一直我都想不通。

想說看些搞笑的節目來挽回自己的心情。
但好像都沒有用。

如果我哭。。也只是暫時的解決方法吧。
即使我哭﹐也沒人會知道。 *嘆氣
哎喲。。

希望明天會比較好

Sunday, March 25, 2007

self edit pic with a polaroid frame.

=DD

i love myself! of cos i love all my friends too!

^^

Friday, March 23, 2007

last weekend.. i went to see them.

16mar2007. Mayday.

聽五月天的歌。是爽的! 流汗的感覺超棒的! 五月天是屌的! ^^

18mar2007

我沒忘記他。他。。我也不必多介紹。。你們也應該知道他是誰。 =))

這張照片很可愛哦

us! ^^

old vs new

yeah!! i got new blogskin!!! it's pink. my fav colour. HAPPY!!!

it isnt that diffcult afterall to change a blogskin. =)) i completed within 30mins.

thanks chiewy for teaching me ytd. =))

Thursday, March 22, 2007

i wonder if i did the right thing?

this was what happened a few hours ago.

i was topping up my EZlink card at the machine. just when i completed my transcation, a middle aged guy approached me. he spoke simple english. here's a rough content of what he said..

he told me that he's jobless now. and he's trying very hard to find a job. so he has to go travelling ard sg for interview in order to find a job. after a couple of min, he finally went to the main point. he said if i cld help him top up his EZlink card becos he has to travel in order to find a job. i was stunned!!! that's a bit ridiculous!!! i din know how to reply him. i paused for quite sometime while he continued talking. he kept saying he wld return the money after he finds himself a job. then i asked him how am i supposed to get the money back from him? then he said i cld leave my mobile no. with him so that he can contact me after he gets a job and with a salary.(im not a kid. even if he found a job,it will only be end of the month when he gets his pay.) he even offered another alternative he said he can give me his mobile no. so that i can call him. he even went to the extent of taking out his wallet to show me his IC just to prove to me that he's a singaporean. if he's a singaporean, all the more he shld have frens and relatives here to help him rite? then,he slotted his card into the machine to show me his card value(-$1.xx) and he even showed me the pathetic 4 bucks he's left with in the wallet. not even enough to top up his farecard.

my mind went thru lots for that few mins. is he a fake one? or is he really so poor that he has no money for transport. or is he someone from the media to conduct a survey to show how compassionate singaporeans are? u know.. Strait Times do have reporters gg ard behind the scene to "test" the public. i do have a slight thought of helping him to top up his farecard. i was in a real dilemma. but i dismissed the thot after that. 10bucks is the min. amt that u can top up with. how can i bear to give my 10bucks to a stranger when i dun even haf enough to spend myself. am i being selfish? i told him im still a student so i dont even have enough to spend on myself. i said sorry i cldnt help him. i rejected him. i said NO. and i tried to walk further away from him step by step.

he could sense that i really didnt want to help him. so he wasnt as persistant. however.. jus before i really "run off", he told me if i have 2bucks to give him so that he can ask other ppl to give me another 4bucks. so with my 2bucks+4bucks from other ppl+4bucks in his wallet=10bucks. and he wld have money to top up his farecard.

10bucks.. how long can he last with it? even if he were to top up 10 bucks, his card value will only be $9 cos he has -$1.xx in his card.

so...... did i do the right thing by rejecting him? what will happen after that? what are the consequences after that?

what will u all do if u are caught in the same situation as me?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

i found his friendster account. =)

but im still a stranger to him.

had CF lecture tdy. oh gosh! something sweet and shocking that i found out today!

he came for lect tdy. we saw him near the lecture door during break time. he's sitting at the corner. he shifted to the middle row during break time to sit beside his fren. he's the one that i noticed since year1 in sch. he was in our IBM lect 2+yrs ago. lala once sat beside him during lecture cos i was too shy to sit with him. he offered lala sweet during lecture.(aww .. so sweet rite... =)) ) but lala "coughed" him away. i never fail not to notice him during every IBM lecture. and that's how he got his nickname - we call him the IBM guy. we saw him a couple of times during our mkting lecture in yr2 but he disappeared after that. since then i never get any chances to see him in school. the last time i saw him was nearly a yr ago. never get to know his name till tdy. he's zhaoru's fren!! and he's the pioneer batch of PJC. hey!! that's where i came from too!! so coincidental!! =)) he's a very friendly guy. he once helped zhaoru with the shutter of the shop becos she cldnt reach it. however, i heard that he's attached and his gf's quite pretty too. anyway... that's no that main point. i nv get to know his name till tdy. he's called Timonthy. =)) i cldnt help but kept looking at him secretly during lect altho my view from my seat was blocked. lect's damn boring. but a few secret stares at him did make my day. =)) we met him again during our 2nd break when we went to fill our bottles at the water cooler. =)) and he has got very nice dimples! =)) awwww... how i wish i cld stare at him longer. heh. dont think that im behaving like a pervert. cos im not! it's just a very special feeling. it is the exact feeling how lala feels when she sees K-x-x. =))

wanted to ask zhaoru more abt him. but i dont dare.. awww.. im shy laaaa. dont know when's the nxt time i'll get to see him again...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

很喜歡這首歌
歌詞寫的很漂亮
不愧是五月天
慢慢欣賞這MV
很美
________________________________

天使

歌手：五月天作曲：怪獸

填詞：阿信編曲：五月天

＊你就是我的天使　保護著我的天使
　從此我再沒有憂傷
　你就是我的天使　給我快樂的天使
　甚至我學會了飛翔

　飛過人間的無常　才懂愛才是寶藏
　不管世界變得怎麼樣
　只要有你就會是天堂＊

＃像孩子依賴著肩膀
　像眼淚依賴著臉龐
　你就像天使一樣
　給我依賴　給我力量

　像詩人依賴著月亮
　像海豚依賴海洋
　你是天使　你是天使
　你是我最初和最後的天堂#

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

i feel so restless at this moment.

nth seems to motivate me anymore now. NOTHING.

not even the thought of seeing my idols! O.O =( how?!

i feel so aimless. i dont know what i really want in life. i dont know what i wanna be in future. i dont even know myself well enough to make decisions.

shld i be a matured-thinking individual or think like a kid?

i am so tired. i cant handle the multiple selves in me. to be able to stand up and speak the truth in front of people seems so diffcult suddenly.

what is the ME that people know abt? how do friends actually view ME as? i really wanna know.

我連我自己都猜不透。好無奈。真的很無助

nth seems to cheer me up anymore. boo! >_<

Monday, March 12, 2007

i had my last mock paper today. it was the most satisified paper among all of them. i know i was quite well prepared for this paper. no tricky qns. it was a proper and normal msm paper. but unfortunately, i left my long ruler behind. forgot to take it out from the hall. =( *cry! this ruler accompanined me for so many years since sec1. it has lots of sentimental value. even if i were to buy a new one, it wun be the same old ruler anymore. BIG SIGHZ!

it's just the beginning. i have to mug hard and smart for the upcoming actual examz. chiong arh for all the different units!!! no procrastination anymore!!! consistent study pls!!

everyone jiayou!!!

我要你快樂 =))

Sunday, March 11, 2007

傷心
我是你朋友所以為你感到難過
我應該開心才對啊但是。。。。
我的感覺不是那樣的
希望你一切都很好
只要你幸福。真的。

那種感覺。。又熟悉又陌生

好懷念。

有位朋友的一舉一動跟你好相似
看到他立刻想到你

=((

Thursday, March 08, 2007

i am sick for the past 4days.

very sick! flu+slight fever.

thanks to all the mid night burning for the last one wk.

i feel so restless now.

i was awake for less than 12hrs ytd. woke up at 1030am. fell aslp after my very effective flu tablets at 830pm. all the way till 8am this morning.

and i m still feeling v tired at this moment.super restless. totally no energy. had my flu tablets again jus now.

=(

falling sick and being alone at home. =( booooooooo~~~~~

no one to prepare meals for me. no one to ask me " are u feeling better?" no one to remind me to take my medicine. =(

and i still got one more mock paper to go on mon. jiayouuuuuuuuuu pr~~~~~~~~

Sunday, March 04, 2007

teared at 2.52pm. (not cried)

hohoho.

cf paper tml. yukes.

only studied 2 or 3 relevant chapters over the wkend. (that's consider quite pro. able to squeeze 2tutorials qns into my brain within 2 days)

din touch anything on long call, or short put. whatever european call.......... ahh.. i dun understand a single thing on that chapter at all.!

it's such a........ yikes......

i promise....... to study consisently after mock papers.

pls let me plan a proper study time timetable. i really want to do well for my final yr.

Friday, March 02, 2007

there are so much things that i wanna say today, now, at this very moment. i jus got so confused and not sure where to start.

note: i am feeling kinda moody now. =((

i had ESAP paper this afternoon.(more papers to come nxt week) but i only started chiong-ing for esap on mon night. for the 3-4 few nights, i have been burning mid night oil to complete as much of esap as possible. i hate myself for being such a big fan of procrastinator. i know that papers are coming but yet im not doing anything. frens ard me are preparing, going at full force for revision. but not me. im just an average student who do not have powerful memory to memorise notes. im not smart to grab the concept well at the first time. and im lazy. how?! =( i hate the feeling of late min preparation. im always like that when it comes to exam period. everyone jus help me will u?!!!!

i experienced lots of failures back in jc times. failing tests seems to be a common thing to me. but how issit that the rest are doing better than me when it comes to actual exam when im stronger during class tests? it happened to me during O levels and A levels. ppl who are weaker than me during sch exams but yet able to score well in the cambridge exam. haiz. im just not the exam person.

and mind u.. my uni grades arent that fantastic. i merely took a grade jus enough for me to pass.

i admire ppl who can handle both studies and work or outside activities at the same time.

3 yrs ago, i took my A level results. how time flies. the memories that i had while mugging. all the tears that i shed cos i cldnt memorise all the chemical eqns and process. i hate myself for being so weak. i hate myself for not being able to live up to my expectations.

my bro got his results today. he's a smart ass. being able to produce this kind of results in a neighbourhood jc is a minority. cos im from a neighbourhood jc as well.

of cos im happy for him.

but im more of upset than happy. humans compare. y arent my result as good as him? or rather, mayb half as gd will be gd enough for me. when comparing, my self esteem jus get lower. it seems that i have lost my indivdualisation. im living in my own world of comparison. i cant help but compare.

or maybe that's what u call jealousy. if time cld reverse.........

i promise i wun be repeating what i did. see.. that's human nature. onli start to cherish things when u lose something.

if i do cherish u, maybe things wun be the way it is now.

i know u wld (past tense) be there for me. i know u wld (past tense) motivate me. i know i cld rely on u for everything.

but not now anymore....

i failed. i cried.