i just knew this will happen. before i know it, we are drifting apart. i tried to salavage this r/s. i didnt want to be the only party that's calling him every other time. one way communication always fail, doesnt it? i didnt want to be a nusiance to him. i didnt want him to hate me. i survived one whole day without his sms. 9 hrs in office seems like 90 yrs. i looked at the time every 5mins, hoping to see a message. but there's none. i m anticipating a message from him. but looks like, i m terribly dissappointed.
my job isnt that smooth sailing. i hate myself. my quotation isnt perfect. i still make mistakes here and there. i realise i wasnt as patient as i thought i was. i wasnt as observent as i thought i was. i feel so aimless again. there's nth for me to look forward to. there's no motivation for me. there's no goal that i wanna achieve. there's no one to guide me along. sighz. how much i hate myself.
i think of him but i doubt he does. i wonder what he's doing now.
*im always a failure.
