sometimes it is not about what(knowledge, experience) u know but it is about who (person) u know.

u will never know the ugliness of the society until u see it happening in front of u.

it's such a digrace. awfully disgraceful.

i've been through my 3 days of work last week. i was so glad when it was the weekend.

but then again, it's going to be a monday again tml. =(

i dont know why am i always facing such an ugly situation.

others may say becos i have not find the right one.

but the main point is- i do not have the time anymore. i need to settle on something decent for at least a year or two. i want the experience with a decent and reasonable income as well.

i seriously dont expect for much. i'm such a simple girl. but yet im in such a situation.

i drag going to work tml. i hope i can have a better one. in a better organisation.

why am i so shuay... =( this is the qns that i kept thinking to myself over the last 3mths.

i thought i was the most forunate girl in the world. i had a job, with a caring bf and a steady flow of income previously.

things start to change when my ex co. fails to pay our salaries and cpf money on time. looking at the financial status of the co., i made a decision to leave. i switched to another job which is def of my interest. however, working with my ex boss in that co., was quite a stressful one. details not to be mentioned. bf changed job as well one mth later. his working time becomes longer and longer. until late into the night during festive season. sometimes i dont even get to see him in a week or 2. i have no one to talk to. our phone conversation was restricted to only once 2 or 3 days and was barely a 10mins talk. he falls asleep the moment he reaches home every day. he do not want to go out on his off day (when his off days are the only time that we can have a proper date.) i really tried to accomodate him. i will meet him at his house area or in town where it is closer to his place so that he doesnt has to travel much during his journey home. i dont mind myself reaching home late. but becos he has to work early the next day. and i dont even expect him even to send me back home altho i yearn so much that he can do so. he is so concentrated on his work that he doesnt unds my frustration at work and what i feel towards him. hence leading to more conflicts later part. and he even ignored me for a mth before our final broke up last dec. i thot he jus need another cool down period. but it isnt after i tried contacting him but he ignored me totally. why he doesnt unds me.. :( he isnt like that when we first met, before he changed his job.

i feel so poor thing for myself. i hear myself crying at a little corner of my bed every other day. the frustration that i have in my work that time and on the relationship. i thot things will be better after the cold war of one mth. but.. sadly it doesnt. i ended my last day of service early dec. i had diffculties looking for jobs during this period. i feel so down, so demoralised. there's no encouragement from him. after a childish conflict, he turned and walked away from me. never to turn back again. leaving me all alone in this world when i needed the most encouragement. i was in the world of my own for 2 mths. i took almost 2 mths to pick myself up on my own. it was such a depressing period. the amount of tears i shed is enough to fill the whole singapore river. thinking back, i didnt know how i walked through that period. i had to hide all my negative feelings. i didnt want anyone to pity me.

i started panning for my future after the 2 mths. i thought my life will be a better one after i got a job. i have such a nice plan. but, it doesnt look like it. my current job isnt what i want.. but i will still contd to stay on to see how it is like before i make another decision. who knows i may stay on for good?