or rather the expectations that the society requires us to.
the society doesnt allow anyone to make mistakes.
once u make a mistake, others will pinpoint at u. and start to emphasize on ur mistake rather than those 99 correct things that u do.
what's the big deal? HELLO! 1 mistake that u made out of a 100 and ppl starts to see u in a different way. duhz.
and i dislike the fact that i have to do impression mgt.
i've lost my sense of direction suddenly. and i hate myself for that.
i cant wait to find a job that i like. a job that requires me to run ard instead of staring at the com. for the whole day in the super cold office.
i cant wait for mid sept to come.
i dont want to wake up 630am anymore jus to leave hse at 700am to catch the co. bus at 735am.
i dun want to end work at 530pm but only rch home at 7+pm.
i dun want to be "forced" to eat rice anymore during lunch. ( but i know they meant well ). i hate to eat rice.
i dun want to be treated like a fool. hmmm.
i dun want to be in that super cold air conditioned room that makes my finger nails turn purple.
i dun want to be in that small space that im confined in.
COS i want to be in a line that i like.
6wks have passed. another 7wks to go. >_<
however.. i got to admit that i've my fair share of laughter there as well. there are v nice ppl there that i know. =DD
cos im new. it's kinda diffcult to bond into their grp. 6wks of interaction vs 1+/2 yrs of friendship for the rest. that i unds.
so, i didnt actually feel left out when they din ask me to join them for this and that.
i want to learn to be independent. rem?
i miss my loud screamings. long time since i last scream damn LOUD.
i miss running ard. rushing here and there.
i miss yakking nonsense. i miss talking rubbish. i miss doing funny faces.
was in town last fri. lookin at the ppl ard. i dun know when was the last time i dressed myself up. F***
boring office attire. even if i were to dress up a little bit, i will invite ermmmm "gossip"? cos ppl there dun make up. i was wearing a cap into office that day. OOH COME ON! obviously i wld wan to take off my cap when i start working. jus a short dist (50m? or less than that) and i got attention. errrrrr. a cap.. and i got attention. come on~~~~~ youngsters wear cap. and it's not that im wearing it the whole day in the office. u can call me NUTS if i do that.
i want freedom. and a job that i like.
Labels: over the weekend...
